freedom glads wfc - ex-glads page

Here, in no particular order, are a selection of ex-players or 'XGlads'...
		XGladys Fullshorts, midfield. Old twiddly, twinkle toes used to boss the midfield with Gladys' Lightbody and Anorak before her defection to near neighbours Crapton Olient. Days were more colourful with Fullshorts around, what with her ability to encourage the ref to brighten up the most turgid of games with flashes of yellow and red. We haven't quite given up hope of seeing her shorts billowing in our direction once more...
		XGladys Twelvepints, defence. Twelvepints is still a full gladys in spirit but alas returned to her native Florence (the place not the bird) after helping us to the double in 1999/2000. Inch-perfect and abstemious Gladys stunned us with her claim to have drunk 12 pints before a game, just as we were about to fall down in obeisance someone kindly translated '12 pints' as the Italian for 'two 'alf pints'...
		XGladys Puke, fence. XGladys from our beginnings as Blah FC and Trash'n'Reddy Rangers. Kindly Gladys used to help neighbours on her estate when they ran out of storage for their electrical goods. Named after an incident at Newham when chronic hayfever caused her to honk violently on the pitch (well, she said it was the grass). Also remembered for letting in about 8 goals against QPR after having a spliff during the first half to calm her nerves. Now a sociology lecturer (there must be something in this stereotype business).
		XGladys Toecutter, mid-midfield. XGladys dominated the centre circle for the best part of two seasons before taking her ball juggling skills to pastures new. No one has since been able to match the obsessive precision of XGladys' pre-match booting up routine which involved cutting the feet out of one pair of socks, finely calibrating two other pairs of socks, intricate weaving of several yards of tape and consuming exactly the right banana...
		XGladys Flasher, good all over the pitch. XGladys partner of Toecutter and jolly nice bird. Unless we've unwittingly stumbled on a shady secret, the only Mac that XGladys uses is Macromedia Flash. Visit her website www.sportsfix.co.uk ...
		XGladys Tourette, all over the pitch. Endearing but somewhat confused, it was impossible to fault XGladys' work rate. Over 90 minutes she ran tirelessly over every blade of grass on the pitch mumbling "Bloodyfuckitwankshitfuck I don't know where I am fuckshitpisswank no they're there fuckcunt I don't know fuckballstoss pass it! oh fuck missed it shitshitbollocksfuck I don't know where I am...." As she passed by in a blue aired blur the only sensible reply we could offer was, "Not where you are supposed to be"...
		XGladys Greenfinger, midfield. Gardening XGladys spint tin years over here and one and a bit seasons as a Glidys. During that time she operated on the lift of the pitch, pointed out how shit our fush and chups were, sustained a blick eye at Addeyans and put up with our puerile obsession with her accint with extremely good grace...And if you are reading this, are you going to play for us in Sydney???
		XGladys Haggis, defender. AKA the Karate Kid. Six and a half stone of pure Scottish beef. 'Sniffer' is much missed, although was wise to escape over the border after failing to inform Gladys Terminator until the end of a match that she had seen her "tackle a dogshit" in the first half...
		Gladys Hogtowner, midfield. Native of Toronto (hence the name) - was a much needed new 'Piggy in the Middle' to play with Gladys Lightbody in the 2001/02 season but, alas, has not been seen since New Year...
		XGladys Ricochet, striker. Freedom's very own Shinball Wizard, XGladys brightened up our lives and bewildered the opposition for two seasons or more. Most memorable highlight was the look on the Rainham players faces when she tried to take one of their corners after seeing an apparition of her ex-girlfriend on the pitch. A priceless bird...
		XGladys Brown Under, midfield/goalie. Peroxide antipodean XGladys who played a handful of games before touring the country in an attempt to live down the shame of her exposure as an unnatural blonde (we like to overplay our role in peoples lives).
		XGladys Scargill, winger. Revolutionary and nurse, possibly related to the Wicked Witch of the West as she appeared to dissolve in the extremely watery conditions of January 2001 and has not been seen since...
		XGladys Snapper, midfield. Other half of the Youth Team and Baby Faced Assassin. On the pitch normally sweet natured XGladys could be seen worrying the heels of the opposition before ruthlessly snapping off their legs at the ankles.